Sunday, December 27, 2009

MeeMaw Maureen and her Democratic Ways

As I sit ill on my couch reading a stimulating Facebook debate over health care reform, I found that I would like to write my own editorial of the subject, as I am the chief editor of this locale. It will be a series of commentaries so I may portray my arbitrary thoughts and feelings in a witty, clever and much anticipated expose, indisputably after consuming mugs of warm Bushmills hot chocolate. I do understand that this will undoubtedly irritate some, to which I politely say, go blog about it.

Health care reform, the next great brain-child of our government. But is there really a debate about this? Don't we all genuinely want health care for everyone, poor or wealthy? The argument does not lie in the fact that we want rich or poor people dying but more about who wants to sling some mud somewhere. It's turned into nothing more than the totally unoriginal "I'm a liberal Democrat and you're a Republican turd! Thanks for flushing the economy in the toilet and giving birth to President Bush who ruined everything and melted the icebergs!" "Really?!?! You're an amoral, unethical Democrat and I am a Republican savior of the masses! Thanks for screwing interns and our defense fund so terrorism and dead babies can reign supreme!!!" We can all sling runny dog logs any way we want but bottom line is this: we're in the here-and-now. We took all those history classes for one reason- to learn from our mistakes. Let's put it to good use.

My grandmother was a Democrat. She is currently rolling in her grave because her three children are registered Republicans. She was a staunch Democrat not because she rallied for gay sex, Al Gore, or her "right to choose." She was as right-wing as Barbara Bush herself. She thought oral sex was actually speaking the word "intercourse" out loud. But she was a Dem because of one reason: FDR. She loved him until the bitter end. Why? When the world was falling apart in the 30's, he created jobs for them. He taught them how to work and gave them self respect again. He was a great man. It was for that reason that she remained a Democrat her entire life, despite the evolving liberal lifestyles most Dems accrued around her over the years. In fact, if she knew just how "Democratic" a few of her loved ones were, rolling in that rosy casket because of her children's voting registration would be her morning warm-up. She'd dig her ass right out of the ground and come after a few of them with her hummingbird feeder. Bottom line-it just doesn't mean to them what it meant to her. This all just proves one thing for me- partisanship means absolutely nothing today. There's no drive behind it like my matriarch had; no passion or substantial reason for believing your group is worth a damn. It's just a really convenient mental justification for most people to slander another human being since neither party has produced anything more than mediocre in two decades. So really, all this partisan mud slinging over health care is just about as effective as throwing marshmallows at a mugger. Instead of trying to fix the problem, we're too busy being distracted.