OOOOOOOOOKlahoma! Where the wind comes sweeping down the turnpike....

Ok so I have been gone for a year. I'm in grad school. I'm not gonna give any excuses because no one cares anyway. So off to new and random thoughts!

So Oklahoma, the land of my people. Well, at least for the last two decades or so. I tend to like it because its really cheap to live here, my friends and family are here, there are some beautiful landscapes and lots of history. However, there are quite a few stereotypes about Oklahoma and you know what they say about stereotypes: they're there for a reason.

I was watching an episode of Criminal Minds the other day and while other states have had serial killers that were portrayed as intelligent and sophisticated, Oklahoma's serial killer was a mentally retarded taxidermist that was fixated on honing his glass eyeball technique. Not that I feel slighted on the social status of our serial killers in fictitious media, it's just the principle that despite gleaming and beautiful cities full of successful people and rich histories, the best they could come up with to represent the 28th most populous state was a recluse man in a raccoon hat killing people with ashtrays and stuffing wall-eyed mountain lions. I resent that.

And how about the episode of Friends when Chandler (Chanandler Bong to those of you groupies) was transferred to Tulsa? Now I am well aware that Tulsa holds no candle to the Big Apple, but you got the feeling that both Chandler and Monica would consent to contracting a strapping case of herpes before having to live here because all there was to do was eat BBQ and... eat more BBQ. In fact, apparently the only place Chandler can be considered sexy is... you got it- Oklahoma. Bollocks.

Many moons ago, I used to live in South Carolina. I moved there from Oklahoma and of course, turned around and came back when my father's company transferred him, again. I remember my last day of school there when all the kids asked, "Are you afraid that you'll die in the tornados?" Really??

And let us not forget that Charlie Sheen invented Tulsa.

So, point taken. We're known for some pretty lame things. But despite the fact that we're 49th in education, first in early death, so subsequently dead last in health, and that the populous spent $304,000 welfare dollars on tobacco last year, some of us are proud to live in Oklahoma and actually enjoy it. And despite the fact that that we have the junkiest roads in a 15 state radius, that our weather has an uncontrolled case of bipolar disorder, and are 5th on the DEA's list for one of the top methamphetamine producing states in the union, some of us call this home and you won't find a friendlier population of people. And just go ahead and forego the fact that the media portrays us as all as cowboys and indians who spend all day out hunting, eatin' BBQ and beef jerky out of our truck bed, just to come home to our trailer/teepee and cook up some toilet bowl cleaner so we can sell some meth, buy a new deer hauler, and go huntin' again tomorrow. Despite our tarnished image, we really are a great and diverse people who take pride in where we live, who we are, what we do and that we do it with with sophistication and style. Welcome to Oklahoma!!