7 Habits of Socially Inept People

Remember, I hate the word blog to begin with. I just read an article sent to me titled, "The Seven Habits of Highly Ineffective Bloggers." Really? Someone actually sat around coming up with crap like this and actually think its important? Get away from your computer and go do something daring, like..... driving with your windows down. Don't know if you're one of the socially incompetent? Here's my checklist:

*Warning! Situations and behaviors are real. Names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.

1. You aspire to be a professional blogger.

2. Your flat butt cheeks clap when you climb stairs because you're always hanging out with your friends- over the internet.

3. You have a wiener and are inadvertently wearing women's dress shirts in public. You're wife does not notice. Boom! Window licker heaven.

4. You find it perfectly acceptable to talk about oral sex and hittin the gonja in front of your grandmother and three other people while in an enclosed vehicle.

5. You don't shave, pluck, wax or even tell your wife she has a beard/mustache/sideburns.

6. You light up a joint in a theatre with small children then double-fist choke the person next to you for giving you a flabbergasted look.

7. After flipping on the lights, you lift up your shirt to show off your bare breasts at four in the morning to a hotel room full of barely concious, heavy-eyed people and ask, "Do you think I'm growing?"