Is anyone else just floored by this whole Guantanamo Bay junk? Its really cause me to call into question the singular and combined brain power of the people we chose to be in charge. And question number two- why is it that we are just now sending these 911 ding dongs to trial? If there is any example of the idiocy of our judicial system, there it is on a nice plastic platter from Target.
If you think you know a right-wing nut job here in America, you need to redefine your definition. This guy wants to kill you because you listen to tapes (he's never seen a CD and thinks an mp3 is some sort of western ammo)
and because your girlfriend likes to feel the wind in her hair. Truthfully, I think he's just mad because even the ugliest woman in Iran wouldn't play spin the bottle with him. Is he growing AstroTurf under his long johns? This man, we'll call him Kent because Kahlil is hard to type, thought that by killing thousands of Americans, he would be exalted in the afterlife. So we decide it would be a good idea to pay thousands of dollars to keep Kent locked up for almost ten years on the idea that maybe if we become good enough friends, he might tell us some info. These whack jobs, like Kent, annihilate themselves on the off chance that allah likes those kinds of fireworks and might give them a whole bunch of virgins or kumquats or something once they've blown themselves to smithereens. Do you really think electrocuting him or aspirating him with water is really gonna make him think-"Man, this sucks. We should really just tell them osama is just an Old Navy mannequin we glued some old pubes on. The Taliban- crap! We just wanted to join the Kiwanis club but they wouldn't let us in!" Folks, if this guy's ok with vaporizing his own intestines, you could slap him all day with a wet two-by-four full of nails and he probably thinks his tab is just wrackin up with kumquats.
and because your girlfriend likes to feel the wind in her hair. Truthfully, I think he's just mad because even the ugliest woman in Iran wouldn't play spin the bottle with him. Is he growing AstroTurf under his long johns? This man, we'll call him Kent because Kahlil is hard to type, thought that by killing thousands of Americans, he would be exalted in the afterlife. So we decide it would be a good idea to pay thousands of dollars to keep Kent locked up for almost ten years on the idea that maybe if we become good enough friends, he might tell us some info. These whack jobs, like Kent, annihilate themselves on the off chance that allah likes those kinds of fireworks and might give them a whole bunch of virgins or kumquats or something once they've blown themselves to smithereens. Do you really think electrocuting him or aspirating him with water is really gonna make him think-"Man, this sucks. We should really just tell them osama is just an Old Navy mannequin we glued some old pubes on. The Taliban- crap! We just wanted to join the Kiwanis club but they wouldn't let us in!" Folks, if this guy's ok with vaporizing his own intestines, you could slap him all day with a wet two-by-four full of nails and he probably thinks his tab is just wrackin up with kumquats. And why does this guy get a trial? I know its the American way and due process and all that mess. However, I think we should roll the parliamentarian way. All those in favor of letting Kent swing in the wind for killing thousands of innocent people because someone told him we suck, say "Aye." Nays?
Why, on God's green Earth, are we giving them a good old American Homecoming? If it were up to me, I'd take them sailing. No need for a long drawn out trial, I'm not going to kill them or lock them up. We're gonna take a catamaran named "The Wet Dream" and head to some where back home towards the middle east. On this boat, I would have Captain Jack Sparrow, Craig Groschel, Perry Noble, Beth Moore (sans burqua), Billy Graham, three Tulsa Talon cheerleaders and a mini horse. Jack Sparrow would be there to sail the ship, and all the pastors would be there to show the love, share the word, shout the truth and preach the holy fire that is our Lord Jesus Christ because God knows, if they can't save them, no one can. The three cheerleaders would be there to show them what a beautiful woman looks like and the mini horse would be there just to throw them off. Once we got to the middle of the Indian Ocean, I would partially blow up a pair of $0.99 floaties from Kmart for each on of them, give them a fruit rollup and a speedo (you can't wear all those robes, Kent! You'll sink!) and let them swim home. No harm no foul. If they don't make it- virgins everywhere (hope they can swim) and if they do- bonus. They'll probably get shot for wearing a speedo in public.
All in all, let's remember who the mass MURDERERS are, dear Presidente. You're bringing them to your home state. We are not to be the ones punished. There are better ways to handle this then to purposely bring terrorists back onto our scarred terrain.
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