Is there any day that doesn't turn into an adult day?

Welp. It's the first week of November and I am still wearing shorts. Thank you, Oklahoma. And being that its the first week of November, it means that I haven't written in a long time. I apologize.

Its just that in the past few weeks, I have had my life run over by my life. You know, the days when you have a meeting sandwiched between two other meetings and you're eating cans of spaghettios on the fly? By the time you get home, you realize you haven't peed all day and that's why your skirt is fitting like your four months pregnant. You've got a to-do list forty miles long and you're pretty certain there are mice rooting around in your laundry since you can't remember the last time you did laundry. Forget working out. You're so tired you sit on an upholstered chair for more than three minutes and next thing you know you're dreaming about purchasing a fainting goat and riding a Ferris wheel with it. I'm so stressed out, there's gallons of cortisol pouring out of my liver and I can hear myself getting fatter.

I was in Target today buying crap for work and in the line to check out, there was an eleven month old sitting in a boppie in the cart. He was all kicked back, leg up on the side of the cart, flirtin with the people in line, suckin on his fingers. It made me wonder if they made boppies for adults. Can you imagine what life would be like if you were five all over again? Instead of worrying about how to make it to the next paycheck, I'd be worried if someone was gonna make me take a bath that night. Screw needing fiber so my colon won't fall out of my anus, I'd be eating fishsticks and mac-n-cheese like it was filet mignon. Yesterday, my friend's kid was picking her nose at dinner and pulled out a serious whopper. I asked her, "What are you gonna do with that?" She gave me a crafty, sideways grin then stuck the booger in my water glass. It was hands down the funniest thing that's happened to me in a while and I longed for such a mind-set to stick my mucus in someone's drink and not give a crap.

I don't care how old I get, I still want to climb the jungle gym. I want a power nap on my kinder mat. I want to run around for hours chasing a dog or drawing fake cities on my driveway with sidewalk chalk and bustin out my big wheel all around it's roads and parallel park it in front of the monkey grass boutique lining my parents flowerbed. Do they make adult sized big wheels? Or even better, I want to jump in the foam pit at gymnastics in a leotard and legwarmers (without any self consciousness or fret of having side boobs and a muffin top) and then go color in a coloring book for a while until I pass out with a marker in my hand and wind up drawing all over my face in my sleep. Technically, I could still do all these things if I really wanted to. If I could only find the time to enjoy my one and only life.