Ahhh America.... Land of the Enabled.

So part deux when it comes to health care (are you tired of it yet?.... yeah me too). Everyone is so up in arms about why EVERYONE doesn't have health care and why prices are so dang high just for a box of Kleenex at the hospital. We're all just trying to kill each other and harvest each other's organs, right? For those that are THAT short sighted and thinking that we should all be playing hopscotch and eating candy bars, let's skip into the land of reality for a short jaunt and answer that oh-so-big question.

You want a car? Buy it. You want a house? Buy it. You want more house or car than you can afford? Buy it anyway. If you want anything- a back waxer, a no-kink garden hose for your slip-n-slide with banana sprayer, Boeing 747, a Rainbow Brite jock strap, a cheap turkey baster or collagen to make your lips look like you been playing in the pool drain- you got it. Just go buy it! But yet you also want to stuff yourself like a cheap hot dog full of lips and buttholes, drink yourself until you pee in your closet, smoke until you cough up something that looks like escargot, sit your cottage cheese butt cheeks on the sofa, tan the resulting fat and try to undo it all with the Taco Bell Drive Thru Diet. Then, after making sure that you do everything possible short of running in front of a school bus to send yourself to an early grave, you want to gripe about the cost of putting humpty dumpty all back together again. Wouldn't it be great if everyone in the world could just be healthy? Of course, but its not reality because it costs money to clean up your hot ghetto mess.

Health care is expensive. Why? WE drive up the costs. We don't go get check-ups or physicals. We live promiscuously and eat over-abundantly, exercise nominally and then one day show up with our intestines rotting out of our anuses. As a whole we do not live any sort semblance of a healthy lifestyle. And yet, we blame our physicians and sue them when there's a post-surgery infection, thus driving up his costs that really get placed back to us. Really? If you'd just paid your $25 copay and gotten a checkup or maybe passed up on that Little Caesars Hot-N-Ready every Tuesday, your perforated colon would be normal and much less expensive and stinky.

My favorite thing in all of this is the media hype. I was watching this MSNBC "expose" on people that were suffering because of health care. One special couple- wife got fired and needed gall bladder surgery. Husband quit his job as a security guard after being confront with a gun, so total loss of benefits. Now they have $18,000 of debt, no jobs and were complaining about how unfair it all was. If a place needs a security guard, it means there are shenanigans going down. Like guns. But I wasn't there so I can't truly be judgemental. But what I can be condemnatory of is what was so great about this story. Their documentary was filmed in their living room from three leather sofas. They also got a shot of both people looking for jobs on the web in their office with two desktops, two printers, two scanners, two web cams and yep- two laptops as well. They both drove nice cars and she had acrylic nails and a huge head of overprocessed hair. And the best part- they were both overweight. Is that not the icon of America? If they sold even half of their "finer things" or heaven forbid- not have tacky, white tipped finger nails, their bills would be extinct. What, are you too good to flip a burger or waitress? For cryin' out loud, hit up the temp agency at least. Income is income, whether its millions or cents. And sheesh-stop shoving twinkies in your obese face and take a walk so you can avoid your next major health crisis.
As an incredible speaker, Bill Cordes, once said- YOGOWIPI. You Only Get Out What You Put In. You want health care? Get a job and buy it. You don't want to pay bills from your health care? Stop treating yourself like a garbage dump. Want to live a life of financial freedom? Act your wage. Health care is a benefit to those who earn it. Those who can't are already covered by Uncle Sam. Now THAT's health care reform.